


Stupid Detectives: Part One of Many

by foxmulder_whereartthou



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Fist Fights, Other, a bit of a meme, based off of that one picture of the article/news twitter post where the, not quite a crackfic but a bit of a joke honestly, police confuse each other for drug buyers/sellers and start a fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 13:10:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17850053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxmulder_whereartthou/pseuds/foxmulder_whereartthou
Summary: Two sets of Detectives, one undercover as Red Ice buyers, the other as sellers, get into a bit of a predicament after informant confusion.This won't become a series, sorry to disappoint.





	Stupid Detectives: Part One of Many

Connor, after what felt like years, finally relaxed in the passenger’s seat of the beaten up car he and Hank had rented. It felt weird being undercover - Connor didn’t feel like he was, well, Connor. And yes - that was the point, but the act of leaving his hair curly instead of brushing it back perfectly, and wearing old leather jacket he’d found at the back of Hank’s closet that morning, felt foreign and wrong.

Or maybe it was just the lingering aftereffects of Connor’s previous identity crisis.

You know, either one.

 

They were posing as Red Ice buyers, him and Hank, and they were currently waiting for the sellers to show up. They’d been staking out the spot for a few hours now, but there was no sign of any suspicious activity; Red Ice sellers or otherwise. Gavin and the RK900, or as Connor affectionately called him, Nines, had also been assigned to the case - and despite how much Hank loathed Gavin, they both secretly hoped the other duo was faring better.

 

* * *

 

They were late. Fashionably late, of course, since Gavin doubted Red Ice sellers would be punctual. Nines looked terrible; he was obviously worrying the Red Ice buyers their informant had tipped them off about wouldn’t be there. Gavin was pretty sure they would - now that the Android Revolution’s effects had entirely been acknowledged and the Androids now had sufficient rights, Red Ice was harder to get than ever. As he knew, from Nines droning on about the case all morning, thirium was a vital ingredient in Red Ice, and well, since thirium was the blue blood that ran throughout all androids, you can easily see the controversy.

 

Gavin’s RK900 partner was slumped against the side of the car door, staring fixedly out the window - his eyes nor his head ever moving, and only Nines’ automated breathing giving any sign that he was still alive. Or, um, working? Gavin was finding it hard to let go of his past of despising androids, and his slight-maybe-possible attraction to the machine in the seat next to him wasn’t helping either.

Honestly, all Gavin wanted to do was punch some old, musty, drug buyers in the face.

 

* * *

 

Connor yelped when the unfamiliar car slid into the parking lot, a few spaces away from them. It took everything within him not to immediately scan whoever was in the car - the glow of his LED would give away their true motive for being there. No android would ever think to buy Red Ice. 

 

As the two ‘thugs’ left the car, which had obviously seen a few crashes, Connor noted how they kept their caps low, as to not show Hank and him their faces. Before he could think to copy, Hank discreetly motioned for Connor to follow, and they both walked over to the two sellers.

 

“Do you have the stuff?” Hank’s voice wavered a little on ‘stuff’, but otherwise, due to the obviously forced deepening of his tone, seemed believable.

“We do. And you the money?” The taller one piped up. The taller one’s grammar seemed to be almost too good, but in the adrenaline of the moment and the energy used to make the cooling liquid that was rapidly being sent around his internal processors, he didn’t think to question it. Connor didn’t want to overheat, not right now.

 

* * *

 

Gavin threw the first punch at the smaller, quiet one. Expecting to take the suspect down immediately, he planned to yell “DPD, get down!” 

What he did not expect was a clumsily thrown right hook in the jaw and thirium from a broken knuckle splattering across his cheek. His dignified yell turned into a muffled “DP- aGH,”.

 

What he also did not expect was Nines to literally run and jump at this unknown android and them to start rolling around on the concrete, hitting and kicking each other at every chance they got. It was like watching two children fight over a toy, except these were two, although adrenaline filled and clumsy, state-of-the-art androids and they knew how to defend themselves.

 

* * *

 

Hank punched the other’s partner in the face, while he was mesmerised by the brawling of the androids on the floor, evolving his punch too into a full-on fist fight.

 

It wasn't until a lot of bruises, thirium splatter, Connor’s arm almost being torn off and fifteen minutes later that the cap finally got punched off of the seller’s face to reveal….. Gavin?

 

Connor, whose eyes had been shut for the majority of his fight, looked up into the face of none other than Nines.

And in a terrible moment of badly-timed sarcasm, thirium dripping in a steady stream out of the side of his mouth, Connor remarked:    
  


“I didn’t know you two sold Red Ice, I’m going to have to report you for that.” 

 

The smirk on Connor’s face as he said that haunted Hank’s dreams that night. 

 

* * *

 

Needless to say, they all got a day off due to their inevitable suspension and, in Connor’s case, a replacement arm.

And Gavin, from then on, decided to avoid starting a real fight with Hank.


End file.
